Redneck Security

Just got this in an email:


HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.


2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and your NRA magazines.


3. Put a few giant-sized dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.


4. Leave a note on your door that reads:


"Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke, and Slim,

I went for more ammunition. Back in about an hour.

Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked

the mailman this morning and messed him up

real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it, but it was

hard to tell from all the blood. Anyways,

I locked all four of 'em in the house.

Better wait in your truck till I get back."